Inspirations Friday - Bullying

I've been a little tired this week and feeling uninspired. I was FORCING myself to think of something that MAY or MAY NOT inspire me. Just wasn't feeling it.

A friend of mine were taking a break at work and she started telling me about the movie she just made her 15-year old son and one of his friends watch, "Bully". Suddenly I was inspired.

I'm not going to pontificate of the evils of bullying. If you're reading this, you already know, and you're probably NOT in denial that it exists. It's not just "boys being boys" or "spoiled little daddy's girls". It's mean, it's wrong, it's born out of ignorance and misguidance. There, I'm off my soap box already!

I've never felt a need so strongly to want to help, but not sure how to yet. I'm not a parent, not affiliated in any way with a school, but I was unfortunately, bullied in the past.

I found myself opening up to someone for the first time probably ever about the rough time I had in Junior High School and for the first two years of High School (same town, same kids so what do you expect?). Years later I found out it was my supposed "best" friend that was rallying for the assassination of my self-esteem. I had no friends in the seventh grade because of it, and it was a slow-start to the eighth grade. I think it really started in the sixth grade when puberty started to hit and everyone was a little bamboozled by the surge of hormones rushing through their bodies. I was a late-bloomer, wasn't quite there yet and didn't understand any of it.

While I still wanted to play "store" and act out stories from my favorite books, many of my friends moved on to other not-so-innocent antics. I guess bullying made them feel they had the upper hand and made them deal with the confusion in how their bodies and minds were changing. If they couldn't control that, at least they could control something...or someone else.

Usually it happened on a Friday or Saturday night. There were the slumber parties that suddenly I wasn't invited to anymore. There was the round-robin of crank phone calls all night, threats, harassment of my parents and the lies they heard. There was the awkwardness Monday at school, the whispers, the hush hush gossip, the giggles and know-it-all looks. There were the concerts and birthday parties I was excluded from, and the lunches eaten alone at the corner of the cafeteria.

And I didn't understand any of it. I hadn't done a thing, but I guess that, too, in a way was the problem.

Towards the end of the eighth grade, it had improved, but reared its ugly head again by sophomore year in high school. Different group of girls this time and I stared it down incredulously. Fine, go ahead, beat me up, taunt and tease me over lies, trust the other person whom you just meant and throw away our childhood friendships. Fine with me. I didn't need any of it anymore. I was beyond hurt. Anger started to take over because I wasn't going to be the victim this time around. And I wasn't.

I actually earned some respect and the bullying this time around stopped almost as soon as it started. That was lucky for me, but not the norm for many.

If you were bullied, or know someone who was or is still, STAND UP! Do something! Sitting back and letting it play out is not going to help. Being supportive in any little way can. Don't be afraid anymore. You have the upper-hand!

The pain never fully goes away. I still feel it to this day. I'm still baffled as to how anyone could be so mean and hurtful no matter WHAT their age or what is going on in their bodies.

My pledge to you is to start somewhere. If you have a Facebook account, "like" the following pages in solidarity. There's strength in numbers and you can find more great information on their pages!

Bully, The Movie, Facebook Page

I Stand for the Silent Facebook Page

Stand for the Silent Official Facebook Page

Here are some other great website resources for bullying:

Antibullying Network
Stop Bullying
Anti-Bullying Programs
Stand Up to Bullying Day