I was having a hard time trying to be inspired this week. It's been rough; I've had some challenges at work and with my allergies. I feel tired, spacey, dizzy at times, and just plain beat up.
I woke up this morning, actually thinking ALREADY about what I wanted to write and just feeling more and more drained with each thought.
I am also more anxious than my "normal" today. I get nervous making phone calls, especially to people I haven't spoken to in some time. I rather have in-your-face contact or write you a letter....both opposite ends of the communication spectrum. The phone seems like Purgatory to me and I don't handle it well. I know...it's just a phone, but I am so in-tune to gestures, stance, posture, etc. that there are too many gray areas for me on the ol' handset, and I DREAD moments of silence. I don't know if you're mad at me, offended by something I said, or just taking a mini-break to wipe your nose. It unnerves me!
Trying to put my emotions and panic in check, I decided to read my emails this morning before my shower. I found my inspiration!
My cousin whom I was very close to for years, but lost contact with except recently on Facebook (ugh, yes, Facebook) wrote me an email. An actual letter to my own private email address, not a random status update or private message. And a WONDERFUL, thoughtful, courageous email at that! I could literally feel the stress melt. I was able to swallow my first dose of Zyrtec without it bubbling back up through the cuss words as per usual.
Her actions put to shame parts of my posting/rant on the evils of social networking the other day. It DOES have some benefits. Apparently my random status updates put a smile on her face and make her laugh. This blog may make her GAG, but I may invite her to join in on the fun as well.
If she could email me out of the blue, then I can make that phone call and get control of the situation. It doesn't faze me a BIT now.
So, thanks, Cousin, for your thoughtful words, for reaching out, and for inspiring me to put my anxiety aside and do the right thing! You'll never understand how much it was needed today:)