To follow up to my ode to the delete key, I promised I'd explain sometime about the shredder, another piece of relatively mundane, yet abundantly useful office equipment.
It means so much more to me than shredding the credit card offers, old insurance forms, tax forms older than seven years (let me just make that perfectly clear!), etc. It shreds bad ideas, bad relationships, ruminating thoughts, etc.
I won't waste anyone's time and rehash what a bad 2010 and 2011 I had (well the first part of 2011 anyway; it ended with a SPLASH, thanks to Sherry, NYC, and DC!!). However, I WILL say what a God-send the “big brown box” at work was, and still is, at times.
More valuable to me than ANY amount of therapy, self-help books, or medication, the shredder helped me literally SUCK impurities from my soul...all the bad thoughts, sad thoughts, anxiety, why-why-why's, anger (and PLENTY of it at that), unanswered questions, self-beatings, etc., that were tearing ME to pieces. All I had to do (and STILL do from time to time) is scribble down the obsessive, energy-draining thought, press the glorious green START button, (making sure no clothing or jewelry was in the way; I'd hate to have to explain THAT one), and VOILA! ...out with the bad and with each deep, cleansing breath after that, in with pure GOODNESS.
So many times I sat here at work wondering WHY ME? What did I do wrong? How could I be so STUPID...until one tired day I decided enough was enough. I started by writing down every unanswered question that would NEVER be answered and ran to the machine room, closing the door behind me and enjoying the moment all alone. The proverbial purging didn't work for me; I needed the real thing.
It was the miracle, happy ending I was longing for. Rarely do those thoughts creep into my head anymore...and if they do, I know IMMEDIATELY where they need to go!
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