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Monday, May 26, 2014

"It's not you...'s me." I said to myself as I looked in the mirror.

I'm coming clean: I have issues with change. I do just find in changing situations, changing environment, etc. But when it comes to personal change, I definitely have my fair share of challenges.

Right now I am going through a "transformation" so to speak. I know I need to step it up a notch, to grow up and look the part. Too many year of complacency with tee shirts and jeans, jeans and tee shirts. I'm hiding, from nobody but me, I'd hasten to guess. Who knew that buying a new blouse today would cause me to have a major melt-down and start to crack up?

I have this obsession with's probably not very healthy. The irony? I have an obsession with clothes yet 90% of the time, I'm a mess. My socks don't match, my belt is broken, my shirt is wrinkled and my cardigan is pilled.  Oh did I forget shoes that are falling apart? It's a comfort thing and an inability or unwillingness to be uncomfy. I had to come to terms with this today. Again, a shirt from Kohl's could cause all of this introspection? I don't even LIKE Kohl's!

Deep down inside I want to be this cute little Parisian girl who can pull it all together with the toss of a scarf and the perfect bag. The reality: I've become a typical Portlander, afraid of being muddy, wet, and cold in this uber casual, uber grunge environment.

Deep down inside, I want to love the shirt, embrace the shirt, become ONE with the shirt. Seriously. It would be one little hurdle to overcome, one more baby step in the right direction. Embracing "the shirt" means I am embracing ME.

How do you deal with change? Do you run towards it with open arms or cower in the corner?

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